I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
