I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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