just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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