Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
