We should be called the Road Head Warriors
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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