I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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