I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
