belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
