If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
