While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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