Say something about gay babies.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
