508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
