but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
