try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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