all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
