you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize