If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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