Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
