My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
