yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
