Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
