it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think im going to throw up on grandma
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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