it was like his penis was on wheels.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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