My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
