uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
