Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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