my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
