Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
