i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
