What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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