The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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