So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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