the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize