he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize