Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
