I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
