New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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