I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
