I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize