Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
