So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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