i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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