Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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