I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
