Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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