Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
