Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize