He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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