Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
