she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
