im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
