i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
