Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had sex on a roof
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
