p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
