Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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