I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
