I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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