this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.