Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run