Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras